Monday, September 29, 2008

Difficult topic...avoid if you're having a bad day

A dear friend's brother took his own life this morning.

It wasn't a surprise to any of us, but still, it's a shock knowing that someone you knew was so despondant that s/he felt the need to leave life.

He was about 63. He spent about 20+ years in prison; then got out about 3 years ago. He started his own house painting business and was actually talented when it came to faux finishes. He did good work and was getting to the point where he was supporting himself for the most part.

He'd been having problems working, climbing ladders and having enough energy to do his job. Recently, he went to the doctor and was diagnosed with lung cancer and had an extremely nasty blood clot in his thigh. He could live 6 months. He could live 3-4 years. He wasn't able to work or have insurance, and his family was already supporting him through some tougher times. He felt as if he was a burden to them.

He called my friend Saturday night crying and telling her that he was going to end things. He didn't have much quality of life left and postponing it possibly a couple of years by having chemo and going to the county hospital. He asked if she would understand if he did it and admittedly, she did. She loves him, but she knew that he might just do it.

A friend of his was up all night with him Saturday and prevented him from going through with it. Finally, after a long night, she too, said that she understood his dilemma and left him.

He made a few more calls to family, telling them goodbye in different ways.

My friend woke up this morning to a phone call from her brother's roommate. His car was running in the garage. The roommate was afraid, but knew what she would find there. My friend had her call the police. They confirmed what we all expected, that he took his life.

So now it's a question of wondering if he did the right thing or not. Did he do it so he wasn't a burden to his family to support him? Did he really have only a meager life left? Could he have been pulled out of this spiral? We'll never know.

You know there are some really good reason why Dr Kevorkian should be able to do what he does. In this instance, I can see where it would be the right reason.

1 comment:

said...

Having just went through this last year with my father... I agree with you. Even my dad, knowing that he was dying in a matter of days but still had to suffer nonetheless, said that he wished we could put him to sleep like we would a dog. To him, it made no sense. I still don't quite understand it to this day.